Friendship

(Please forgive any spelling errors. I am writing at 2:30am and have no spell check on my phone.)

A question asked on FB (Thank you Julie) "What is friendship to you?"

Wow.

That is a loaded question.

We all have a fast response that is only surface deep. I started to write one of those 'just barely scratch the surface' answers when I really started thinking about the question: What is friendship to Rachel Toney?

My response was posted as follows: "Friendship is my willingness to speak in truth at all times; using the gifts God has given me to help them in their journey; praying daily for their needs or desires (if unknown, lifting them up before God and letting Him fill the need); and the ability to be myself (to laugh, to cry, to talk, to be quite, to pray, to not be judged because I may be different). That is what friendship is to me."

I then began to think of examples of friendship that I have had in my life. I have been blessed to have many examples of what a true friend is willing to do for another true friend. I also thought about the true friendships I have had in my life. Those relationships blow me away.

I count it a priviledge to have true friends willing to pray me through a rough few years when all I wanted to do was die, literally. The gift of friendship during my teen years was a gift of life.

As I grew older, I had a different aspect of friendship, some of which wasn't always true friendship. I wanted friends so badly I would let them influence me in ways I knew I shouldn't, but couldn't make myself stop. Needless to say, that era of friendship taught me an important life lesson: never let anyone else dictate who I am. No true friend will ask me to lessen my values. No, a true friend makes me want to rise up and be a better person.

Other friendships I have had and still have are the most special. These are the friends that no matter how long it has been, they are only a call away. They are the closest example I can ever humanly compare to God's agape love. These true friends have no problem listening to me, praying me through difficulties, gently correcting me, building me up in Christ. They aren't too proud to admit we have something to learn from each other. They love me for who I am not who they wish I would be. These true friends are willing to do whatever it takes to help me be a better person, always.

I am blessed to have four such true friends. I am able to share my most inner thoughts, fears, and joys with any of these four and I know my heart is safe with them.

My best friend of all is truly an undeserved gift from God: my husband. Greg is so much more than I ever hoped to gain in a mate. He met me in one of the lowest points in my life and never saw me a lower than him. Greg has loved me with a God type agape love. Not many people are blessed to marry their best friend, but I know I am. Thank you God for allowing my best friend to be my husband.

The Journey

God is an awesome God! My life in the past year has been a journey, one which I hope I don't have to repeat, but I don't regret having traveled. Since April 2009, I have been plagued with the most horrendous back pain I have ever dealt with in my life. I had surgery in July of 2009 to repair an extruded disc in my lower back to to clean up scar tissue from my nerve roots. My S1 nerve root was severely damaged and after the scar tissue was removed, more issues were found. I had another surgery in January of 2010 to implant a Spinal Cord Stimulator to manage my chronic pain. The journey has not been what I would have chosen, but the rewards are what I desired. More importantly, the journey was something that God knew I needed to fully understand how great He is.

Most of the blessings that I have received are internal and spiritual. I have contemplated sharing some of those with you, but I feel called to not talk about the blessings and rewards. I am called to talk about the journey. My journey over the past year may be far different than the journey you are on. The battles may be different but the mountain looks just as high. I was struggling with my mountain and a few weeks ago, God gave me answers. The words God spoke to me is what I will share with you.

The understanding of why God took me where He did is still unknown to me. Until a few weeks ago, I was focused more on the why than I was on the purpose. You may be thinking that the why is the purpose, but I don't agree with that thought anymore. In my opinion, purpose is objective based and focusing on purpose allows me to focus on God and His plan for my life. Why is typically ask out of a complaining heart and turns my focus from the things of God to the things of man. In my life, I choose to focus on the purpose and ignore the why.

The purpose of my journey is something that God has chosen to show me slowly and carefully. He knows I am not able to accept the full scope of my future, and I am okay with that. I am limited by my human vision at times and God is gracious enough to not overwhelm me with too much, too soon. I can say that until I was willing to give my journey to God, He was less forthcoming in the purpose for my journey. Surrendering my journey has allowed Him to reveal His heart to me in a very special way.

I Kings 17 tells us a story of a man named Elijah. Elijah was a man like us (James 5:17) and that is comforting to remember as you read about the journey God took Elijah on. God specifically wanted me me focus not on the story of what Elijah did, but how Elijah took the journey. This focus prompted a word study for the places Elijah went on his journey.

Elijah's journey started in Gilead (1 Kings 17:1) by declaring the Word of the LORD to Ahab (Deut. 11:16-17; 28:23-24). Gilead means a hill of testimony or mount of witness. In Gilead, Elijah had to proclaim before Ahab God and God's power. In verse 3, we see that God took Elijah to Cherith, a place of cutting. God needed to cut some things out of Elijah's life to better prepare a human for the spiritual journey ahead. While in Cherith, God saw to every need of Elijah. He ordered the ravens to bring him food. He was asking Elijah to allow God to be the sole provider of all Elijah needed. Verse 9 He was told to go ask a widow in Zarephath for food. Zarephath is a place of refinery. God was refining Elijah while he was under the care of the widow. In II Kings 18:1 Elijah was taken back to proclaim God and His power to Ahab. II Kings 18:19 Elijah was told to go unto Carmel (a garden, a place of peace). He slew the prophets of Baal at Kishon, a place of winding (II Kings 18:40). After he had completed the task of slaying the prophets of the evil one, God took Elijah back to Carmel in verse 42. Verse 46 Elijah was sent to Jezreal which means God will sow. God had been preparing the soil of Elijah's life for what He was going to sow. Moving to chapter 19, we see that God took Elijah to Beersheba, a well of an oath. God was reminding Elijah of His oath to those who honor Him. God then knew Elijah was ready to be taken to Horeb. Horeb is also called the Mount of God, but the literal translation is a desolate place. Elijah was willing to choose "desolation" away from humans to see the glory of God. I'm sure the glory of God was well worth the desolate location. Elijah's journey in chapter 19 ends with him being sent to Damascus. Scholars and theologians agree that the word Damascus has no known meaning, however, the location is absolutely beautiful. The city of Damascus is a haven for people. The city lies in a lush and fruitful valley. It is a city of prosperity. . To me, I see it as a place of the unknown.

What God spoke to my heart in doing this study was a simple question: Where am I on my journey? I am at a place of cutting? Have I arrived at my unknown? Have I spent time in the awesome glory of God? Most importantly, God was asking me if I had the faith to allow Him to order my steps and count on Him to prepare my path. Do I trust that He will provide all that I need? Am I willing to focus on the purpose rather than the why? May you be blessed as your journey with God.